Why 0530?

Because we aren’t guaranteed anything except change!

It’s a question all F3 men ask themselves from time-to-time, “Why 0530?”. Why in the world am I getting up so early and leaving the comfort of my home just to go and punish myself? On the surface it makes us look a little crazy. We’ve all seen that puzzled look when we try to explain F3 to someone. So, what is the point?  Each man has his own reasons. Here’s why I do it, rain or shine:

I got married in 2006. Like many of you, I was in my early 30’s and excited about marriage and starting a family. My wife got pregnant a couple years later and we were set to launch our new clan. Early in the pregnancy we learned that our baby girl, Maia, had a severe heart defect. The only option for us was to continue with the pregnancy, but we knew things were not going to be easy. We were devastated, but hopeful. Maia was born on July 25, 2009 at MUSC Children’s Hospital. She underwent her first open heart surgery at seven days of age. For the next ten months my wife and I lived at MUSC while Maia went through many surgeries, procedures and a roller coaster of ups and downs.

Somewhere around nine months I began to realize Maia was declining fast. My wife couldn’t or wouldn’t see it, but I could. My heart broke for my wife, over and over again, every long day and every sleepless night. I can remember praying for hours in the small hospital chapel for God to sneak into my room, take my healthy heart and swap it with my Maia’s so that she could live and I could take her place. At ten months my wife and I held Maia in our arms as she let out her last breath.

I don’t share this story to seek attention or pity, rather provide you all with an understanding of where I have been. I know many guys reading this have been through something just as devastating and worse. Life has taught me that we are all going to experience our share of tragedies, and we must be prepared to respond.

I didn’t know it, but I hadn’t prepared myself for life, at least not for real life. I spent the next five years mostly numb. My wife had two healthy boys, she and I grew our careers and we did all the things young families do. I appeared to be doing fine on the outside, but inside I had lost the ability to feel much of anything – positive or negative. I had great friends and a strong family around me, but I didn’t have men around me that were willing to step into my mess, hold me accountable and push me to correct.

That is, until May 2015, the first time I posted at Swamp Angel. If you’ve been around F3 for a while you know how the next part of the story goes. If you haven’t, buckle-up, because your life is about change.

 Life is beautiful, exciting and full of happiness.  But it’s also hard, unfair and full of darkness, and it sure as hell doesn’t owe us anything. It’s because of life’s ups and downs that we must appreciate the good times and not dwell on the bad. Also, we aren’t guaranteed anything except change. As soon as we get comfortable and life seems to be on cruise control, you know what happens.

To deal with life’s inevitable shifts of fortune, we must remain prepared and alert.  What I mean by “prepared and alert” is being aware of ourselves and of those around us.  Aware when we need to seek help and aware of when we need to provide it. To do this, we must be physically, emotionally and spiritually fit. When I’m “up” someone else may be “down”. I need to be able to see it and act on it. My available capacity needs to be poured into my brother when he’s down. But, I won’t know he is down if I don’t know him, and I can’t know him if we are not close. By “close,” I mean out in the cold, dark gloom, in physical pain and a little vulnerable kind of close. That type of closeness can’t happen at the office, in a bar or in a text. It has to develop with consistent, physical proximity. That’s why it’s essential to post in the gloom, outdoors, rain or shine and do it consistently.

I know life will put me in the ditch again. It’s not a matter of if, but when. I also know that the next time it happens it will be different. I will have men around me that will, without hesitation, jump in the ditch to help. Not just lean over the bank and extend a hand kind of help, but “jump-down-in-the-ditch-with-me” kind of help. The ability for us to balance out each other’s highs and lows and prevent catastrophic lows is powerful beyond our understanding. F3 is a system that protects us so that we can protect others. That’s my answer to “Why 0530?”.

SYITG,

Elias Deeb | 44 | Miter